Consult the Coach | Wanting to Connect

Consult the Coach

Dear Coach:
"How can I do a better job building rapport with my clients and communicating more effectively?"

Wanting to Connect

Dear Wanting to Connect:

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is a skill set that can help. EQ can be defined as the ability to manage yourself (your emotions, words, and actions) as well as your relationships with others. To answer your question, I am going to focus on what I consider the foundation of EQ: being present. When someone is viewed as not being present, the relationship suffers and your chance of getting a listing or representing a buyer is diminished. These skills are not new, yet most of us don’t practice them consistently. Here are five key components of being present.

  1. When talking to a client, close and silence all potential distractions such as your phone and computer.
  2. Face and make eye contact with your client. Turn your body so you are facing and looking at your client. Give them your full and undivided attention.
  3. Nod your head and use acknowledging words appropriately. Use head and body movements combined with saying "Uh-huh" or "I see" or other words of acknowledgment. This lets your client know you are paying attention.
  4. Show Empathy. For example: "It sounds like you had a frustrating and tiring day looking at 10 homes, especially since none of them were the right one for you." or "I am really sorry they didn’t accept our offer."
  5. Summarize what was said. This is one of the most important things you can do to show you are being present. When you summarize what your client has said, they will know that you are listening, that you understand, and that they have been heard.

These skills are important to use in person and on the phone. They help you build rapport and communicate effectively. To be an emotionally mature and intelligent adult, it starts with our willingness and ability to fully listen to our clients, managing brokers, colleagues, partners, spouses, and kids. Remember that you must be PRESENT to win!


Stuart Kaufman

Stuart Kaufman, MS, MBA

Stuart Kaufman, MS, MBA, is a Real Estate Columnist, Life and Business Coach who motivates, coaches, trains, and inspires Real Estate Brokers to be focused and accountable for greater success. Stuart provides Jump Start coaching sessions that help Brokers develop their emotional intelligence. To contact the Coach, send an e-mail to or call 206-725-1584. © Copyright 2015, Metamorphosis Coaching. All Rights Reserved.

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